Email a copy of 'Hot News: Jason Bowman Declares Himself Spokesman For The Mohawk Nation!' to a friend
In an elegant display of his delusions of grandeur, Jason Bowman has named himself the official spokesman of the Mohawk Nation! It’s finally been done folks, someone has outdone Kevin Annett’s previous record score in the Expropriation of Voice Olympics!
It must have been all of that training at the Harvard School of Extension. I knew I should have enrolled there!
Bowman has published a LAWFUL NOTICE OF INTENT FROM THE MOHAWKS OF THE OUSE / GRAND RIVER on his website yesterday. It is a site that he claims represents the Mohawk people when the reality appears that there probably aren’t Mohawks who have the admin password. It is the same as his 800 number- that was originally for his ‘Citizen Prosecutors” but has suddenly become the 1-stop number for all your Mohawk needs.
Well, according to Bowman at least. If he were the spokesman for the Mohawk Nations He may just eclipse the damage done by colonialism. Well, perhaps not that bad- unless he screws up any legitimate opportunities for the Mohawks to resolve the wrongdoings of the past. If that ever happened, it would be the worst kind of tragedy.
Let’s hope his legal clowning doesn’t hurt anyone…
There are many Legal Bowmanisms in the document- including a couple of new ones. My favourite is how he has started bolding, italicising and capitalizing words to make his ‘legal’ threats sound more scary. Perhaps he went to the Harvard extension class on lowball debt collection law?
Watch out RCMP- Jason Bowman is going to report your ass to INTERPOL! (in all caps)
Here’s where Bowman calls himself the official spokesman for the Mohawk Nation- say what?
A Harvard Educated citizen prosecutor? Huh? Does Harvard have degrees in citizen prosecution? Can you please explain to me the meaning of the phrase ex-parte? You’re killing me here Jason…
Oh, and there was my favourite of all the Legal Bowmanisms. This guy has a catch phrase that’s hard to ignore:
Indeed Jason, I couldn’t agree with you more on this one. You should govern yourself accordingly. You need to stop following your impulses to call yourself the legal saviour of the indigenous people. You need to realize that it is time to take a break, regroup, think about how you can atone for what you’ve been doing.
Do you think you can do that Jason?