[Updated] Will Mia Nissen’s “Spotted Owl” Slow Burnaby Trans Mountain Pipeline Expansion To A To Snail’s Pace?

The only "heat" comes from the protester's hot air...

It’s not just the bagpipe that’s full of hot air…

Update: The Oregon Aquarium says that the Pacific Sideband snail is “considered common”, not endangered.

In our last posting we covered how protesters against the expansion of Burnaby’s Trans Mountain pipeline attacked “the man” by yelling insults and expletives at the working man. Meanwhile, the Pulitzer worthy (well, more worthy than Linda Solomon at the Observer) geniuses at Burnaby Now newspaper have claimed that the battle is heating up. And how did they back this theory? With a picture of 19 protesters and another of a guy with a bagpipe.

Previous protests involved scores more protesters- adding the fact that Burnaby is a college town with a population of over 200,000, it’s becoming clear that the Trans Mountain protesters are going nowhere fast. So, what’s a protester to do when the public doesn’t give a damn? Simple, time to go hunting for Spotted Owls!

If you’re a fan of French cuisine, you’ll find their solution deliciously fun…

mia-nissen-burnaby-snailToday’s recipe for activist hijinks comes, of course, from Mia Nissen- a highly credible source who compared her 7-day fast to Gandhi’s hunger strike, and who’s scheduled for a court appearance today after locking her neck to the front of Chevron’s Burnaby refinery.

Nissen posted on her Facebook page a couple days ago that “biologists” have discovered a dead “endangered” snail on Burnaby Mountain. Voilà, the new Spotted Owl! She next claimed that the “biologists are hoping to find a live one.” I use “biologists” in quotes, because a real scientist wouldn’t “hope” to find anything, they would try as neutrally as possible to identify what actually exists.

How convenient would it be to find an endangered snail? How easy would it be to drop a few in the forest? In our last story Nissen exclaimed that the pipeline would only go in “over my dead body”, perhaps that sort of extremism could drive one to drop a few dead snails? Are the “biologists” so “hopeful” they’re willing to drop their standards?

I’m sceptical.

Permanent link to this article: http://www.genuinewitty.com/2014/09/08/will-mia-nissens-spotted-owl-slow-burnaby-trans-mountain-pipeline-expansion-to-a-to-snails-pace/

3 comments

  1. Congrats to Chevron for taking these people who hate capitalism to court!! It would be a rude awakening for these low-lifes to actually live in a country where there are no freedoms like the ones that we enjoy in Canada!

    • Fritz Becker on October 4, 2014 at 02:15
    • Reply

    With regards to the mollusk in question , that one looks familiar, as a matter of fact I think I that they are pretty common in coastal B.C, in the woods and such, so there probably are some on Burnaby mountain. I believe that I accidentally stepped on one on a garden path once so I don’t think these snails are exactly along the lines of a Siberian tiger.
    Incidentally, isn’t Simon Fraser University’s campus on Burnaby Mountain? If so how many of these “Endangered” snails lost their lives during it’s construction? What’s more S.F is a huge university, it must have several thousand students in attendance at any given time, but these anti pipeline protesters couldn’t round up any more then 19 people, and one bagpiper?

    1. Yeah, I pretty much agree with you on this, the snails are just a distraction- and,the incredibly small turnout shows just how few people care about this fight. It’s a real shame that the media hasn’t figured this out yet…

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