Will Point Grey Be #KeepingItClassy With The NDP’s David Eby! (Or: Just Say No To Rice Wine…)

Dave was privileged – he could have had rice wine…

I heard some great news today, David Eby has announced his intention to run for for the seat at Vancouver Point Grey.  Wait, I know what you’re thinking- what could be great about having a cop-hating, anarchist hugging, promoter of cop baiters in a position of power?

Nothing, of course, we must do everything within our power to stop this from happening. The great part about it is that I now have several months of hilarious content ahead of me! Because, not only is Eby a real schmuck, but some of the things he’s done (and those he will do in the future) have been a great source of satiric inspiration. So, everyone, hang on for a great ride over the next few months!

Eby was my source of inspiration for writing satirical articles. It all started back during Occupy. Eby was involved with the event, and had the opportunity to help it succeed. I was astounded when he refused to stand-up and help Occupy with it’s problems with violent anarchists- had he done so, we may not have ended up with a cop getting hit in the face with a flagpole.

But, then I decided to study his career and try to better understand where he was coming from. I was a bit less astounded with Eby’s decision after that- in fact, with what I now know, I have the hunch he may have smirked with delight when he heard about the cop getting hurt. A large part of Eby’s career has been creating a greater divide between the people and the police.

So, when Eby tweeted about how unfortunate it was for him to have to suffered through cheap Bread Garden wine, I really couldn’t help myself- the hypocrisy I saw in this was ripe for creating a delicious piece of satire. (see the above picture).

How could a man who’s followers claim to be the ‘Mother Theresa’ of Vancouver’s Downtown Eastside (DTES) complain about Bread Garden wine when the people he’s ‘protecting’ are stuck drinking rice wine and Aqua Velva? And, this is only a minor example of Eby’s hypocrisy. When you start digging into it, the depth of his depravity is astounding- if only his lack of discretion about his tipple was as bad as it got.

So, if you’re David “Keeping It Classy” Eby, and you’re planning to launch a political campaign based on all of your work for the poor and disenfranchised, what would you do?

How about a “Trip Around The World” wine tasting- only $75 a head!

No, really, I’m not kidding- the Mother Theresa of the DTES will be hob-nobing with Vancouver’s elite over expensive wine this Tuesday. Normally I wouldn’t be so petty as to point this out- but, considering the #KeepingItClassy incident, I really couldn’t resist. The irony is so thick it could rival George W. Bush’s skull.

I’ve researched Eby for a year now, and have discovered many shocking things about his career- so, I’ll have a lot to write about him as his campaign progresses.  You should also be expecting some fun videos about Eby- some comical, some full of scary truths. I’ve also managed to recruit two volunteers to help me so far. If you’d like to help stop Eby from winning, we’d love to have you on-board (particularly those willing to canvas Point Grey.)

The next few months are going to be a lot of fun…

Permanent link to this article: http://www.genuinewitty.com/2012/11/10/will-point-grey-be-keepingitclassy-with-the-ndps-david-eby-or-just-say-no-to-rice-wine/

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